Sins of the Heart
by JinxJen
Summary: Rewrite what happened in the Lust Arc following Orihime's POV. Orihime was confused. She was tangled and torn between two divided forces: Kurosaki-kun and Ulquiorra. She wanted to find out the reason to be the drive force between them.
1. THE CONFUSION

First, thank everyone who reviewed and favorited my previous stories! I'm glad that you enjoyed reading them.

Second, sorry for being busy recently that I haven't updated any fic. Formatting files is a pain, but I want to proofread fic carefully before posting and end up storing it for god knows how long.

Anyway, thanks for discovery this story!

This story is my attempt of rewriting what happened in the Lust Arc following Orihime's POV.

So this fic is basically an Orihime-centric fic though I was leaning more toward UlquiHime because you know, it's Lust Arc where UlquiHime was at their most glory, beautiful and touching moment at the end.

I also tried to make the fic following the canon in manga as much as possible.

I intent to post chapter by chapter everyday, but let's see if life lets me do that or not. But as soon as I finished writing and proofreading the chapter, I will post it as soon as possible.

**Disclaimers:** I do not own Bleach and their characters (definitely); they are all masterpieces from Kubo-sensei~

Some parts may sound weird in English; because I'm not an English Native one. Ha ha ha.

This fic will be written about Orihime's POV in the third person, but I sometimes use italic word to describe the thought of the characters.

* * *

**SINS OF THE HEART**

* * *

**CHAPTER 0: THE CONFUSION**

Orihime didn't understand why they were fighting.

Were they fighting for her? Were they fighting because of her?

Orihime really didn't know.

She was tangled and torn between two divided forces.

For certain, her heart tried to tell herself that she was the main reason for their fight although her mind told her the other thing.

Both of them were not fighting for her. They were fighting within themselves.

When Kurosaki-kun appeared in the throne room, he chose to engage the battle with Ulquiorra rather than getting her out here without fighting because Karakura town was in danger by every minute.

Moreover, she didn't comprehend why Ulquiorra also wanted to fight with Kurosaki-kun either.

Ulquiorra always avoided any meaningless fights at all cost. That was he said.

Nevertheless, ever from the first time she found out that Ulquiorra had almost killed Kurosaki-kun when Grimmjow brought her to heal Kurosaki-kun, she thought maybe he had done that to her as a punishment for disobeying his order as for not eating the meal and also slapping him.

Orihime pondered the first time Ulquiorra fought with Kurosaki-kun was because he was angry with her.

But this time, she hadn't done anything wrong to make Ulquiorra in a fume with her for whatever. Both he and Aizen said she was useless to them now. It didn't matter whether she was dead or alive to any of them.

Why did Ulquiorra want to provoke Kurosaki-kun a fight?

She didn't get it.

It wasn't like Kurosaki-kun made him irate either.

* * *

**JinxJen's note:**

Because this fic is from Orihime's POV, I will use "Kurosaki-kun" instead of Ichigo at fullmost.

I have to apologize for the writing first because I'm not exactly very proficient in English.

Even if I tried to use GORGEOUS words, I fail miserably. I just keep thinking it would be better if I use simple and easy to understand words.

Prologue is short. But the next one won't be the same.

See you in the next chapter.


	2. THE QUESTION

Thanks for reading the story!

This is chapter 1 for "Sins of the Heart". But we haven't reached up to the sins yet.

**Disclaimers: **I do not own Bleach and their characters (definitely); they are all masterpieces from Kubo-sensei~

This fic will be written about Orihime's POV in the third person, but I sometimes use italic word to describe the thought of the characters.

* * *

**CHAPTER 1: THE QUESTION**

Ever since Ulquiorra returned from the Caja Negaccíon, the aura around him seemed to shift. It wasn't thick and dense and dark like the last time he caught her with Grimmjow. It was less heavy than any other times he had met her before. But Orihime thought maybe it was just her imagination because his speech and his stare were still as cold as ice.

She was still depressed over what he did to Kurosaki-kun and what happened after he was trapped.

She felt herself as worthless and useless by any minute when she couldn't do anything to help Kurosaki-kun in his fight with Grimmjow and Nnoitra.

In addition, she had been caught again just to be told that she was served as a bait to lure her friends and the shinigami captains coming here while her hometown was going to be destroyed.

She had caused both her friends and her hometown getting in danger.

For worse, when Aizen placed his icy fingertips on her lips, she felt that all her blood was frozen.

The tremor she underwent during that short instant was enough to wound her heart. It left her a very creepy and scary sensation that she desperately wanted to erase it out of existence, yet could not be able to… until another awareness of a familiar pressure enclosed her surrounding and then wiped all of those thought away immediately.

She alerted his presence from afar – an action that she had never done before, _but now_.

She turned her head back quick, just to be drowned inside the deep lucid green globes of the indifferent Espada whom she almost thought that she would never be able to meet again.

All of her feeling that she had piled up until that time was mixed and grinded like vegetables and fruits and red beans paste husking crazily in the electric blender. In the end, the feeling became a strangely colored smoothie that she could not quite indentify when she faced him off.

She had an odd feeling that when it came to this man, all she could do was just brace herself up so that she could not lose to his gut. She could not afford to lose herself to him – _no more_ – she had been hurt enough during the time she slapped him, physically and emotionally.

Every time they met up, although the atmosphere in the air was usually tranquil, one could feel all of the electric cracking nerves sparkling through across their eyes gazing each other intensely. Blinking was not even an option to take a break.

When Ulquiorra repeated that matter one more face to face with her and asked her whether she was frightened, it hit her – _the realization_.

She realized that her friends had already known that it was dangerous to come here, that they should stay and protect the town but they chose to come anyway because they wanted to come.

They wanted to come to save her because she was their friend.

Because they didn't want to see their friend suffering in this terrible place.

If she put herself in their shoes, she would do the same like anyone of them, just like the time she went to save Kuchiki-san.

For some reasons, she wasn't afraid anymore, not at Ulquiorra or his cold words, not at dying here alone, not at her useless self, not at herself being a bait causing danger to everyone.

Unconsciously, her mouth moved and those words just spoke out before she could react back.

"I'm not afraid."

Yes, the reason that she wasn't scared because she knew her friends would come to save her and get her home. She left her heart and her trust in them.

Although there was a lot of sadness that had resided in her heart, she was indeed a little happy since she knew they did that because they cared for her.

So to them, she wasn't worthless or useless or anything.

She and her friends all had connection – the _hearts_ they had were beating as one.

When Ulquiorra had asked her what the _heart_ was and reached his hand to touch her sternum, she was frozen up for a second to react to his question and his sudden contact to her.

He hadn't tried to touch her before unless he was told to do so. The touch was ghostly light as if he didn't really touch her at all. His fingers just barely skimmed at the edge of her cloth. She didn't feel anything pressure over the skin at all. But she still felt shiver deep down to her bones.

It wasn't fear. Just a bolt from the blue rendered her in speechless state.

She didn't know how to answer. The question he made sounded so innocent and simple, yet difficult and complex to reply at the same time.

What should she say? How could she explain in her own way for him to understand something like the wonder of the _heart_?

She remembered back then what Grimmjow told her about Ulquiorra's strange habit. That Ulquiorra liked to stab people in the chest at the same position as his hole – the same position of where the real heart was.

Had he also been looking for the same thing that she looked all the time?

The _heart_ – The connection – The bond – The feeling between people.

But…

_Oh Ulquiorra, the heart I talked about wasn't that real one in the chest and it wasn't really in anywhere that you proposed to look for._

After withdrawing his hand to his side, he looked at her with his very serious eyes. Orihime couldn't help but feel herself also staring back at those deep and vivid green orbs with the same intense and honesty.

He wanted an answer from her. He wanted her to show him the _heart_ that his eyes couldn't see.

Orihime swallowed her saliva. She wanted to tell him.

She wanted him to know because it was pitiful for not even knowing about the _heart_, not even having one to share for.

_If it was Ulquiorra, maybe he would understand_, Orihime thought.

No, she was sure that he could understand because he had been looking for it.

She stepped one step, stepped two steps forward Ulquiorra while he was still, patiently waiting for her doing whatever she was going to do.

Right at the moment when her lips parted to breath out words, a gust of reiatsu jetted up from the floor. She saw Ulquiorra's widen eyes in the face for a moment, and then he turned his head back.

Over his shoulders, she saw Kurosaki-kun.

* * *

**JinxJen's note:**

Kuchiki-san is Rukia's last name. Orihime referred Rukia as "Kuchiki-san" in her POV.

Caja Negaccíon = Negative Cube. Ulquiorra was trapped in this thing by Grimmjow for several hours before getting out. If you _still_ don't know what it is, please read "Love Story In The Box" for a better information.

If you have already realized, this chapter, I rewrote the heart convo following Orihime's POV.


	3. THE REASON

Thanks for reading the story!

Yay! New chapter :D

Continue the previous chapter after the heart convo between Ulquiorra and Orihime was interrupted by Ichigo.

**Disclaimers: **I do not own Bleach and their characters (definitely); they are all masterpieces from Kubo-sensei~

* * *

**CHAPTER 2: THE REASON**

When Ulquiorra glanced at his sword, for an instant, Orihime swore that she saw his eyebrows moving closer as if he was scowling then they returned back to normal, back to the emotionless face with unwavering eyes. And then when he drawn his sword out, his reiatsu rose up to same amount of thickness as the time he confronted Grimmjow for getting her back.

Was he irritated for being interrupted?

She only knew to stand back, for a reason that she felt she was not really the main reason of the fight.

She couldn't interfere.

She didn't have right to interfere.

They were both looking for something they couldn't see, an answer for the questions that they asked yet no one could reply the correct one besides their unknown selves. So they fought together to get that answer out of each other.

Only until Ulquiorra asked Kurosaki-kun the reason for Kurosaki-kun to be stronger, his eyes went over her and listed her presence as for one of those reasons.

She was startled for a moment and thought, _"what is Ulquiorra's intention?" _

He didn't fight with Kurosaki-kun seriously at all.

Was he trying to evaluate Kurosaki-kun's purpose?

A real reason for Kurosaki-kun to be stronger than him, to win against him, _to get her back_!

Orihime grabbed her own wrist hard to stop the odd thought about Ulquiorra, for a reason that the one she should concentrate on was Kurosaki-kun, not Ulquiorra. But Ulquiorra's words were just like a returning echo back to her ears and her head.

She couldn't stop thinking over Ulquiorra's real intention instead of worrying about Kurosaki-kun's welfare. Only when Ulquiorra made it clear that because she had become "one of them" so there was no point to rescue her, Orihime finally understood.

The reason that Ulquiorra was trying to discourage Kurosaki-kun to save her was because there was no point for him to take her or her going with him.

So even though Aizen had deemed her as useless and tossed her aside, and Ulquiorra also confirmed what Aizen said to her, yet it appeared that he didn't want to let her go.

He didn't want Kurosaki-kun take her.

_Why? _

Was it because she hadn't yet answered his question?

Orihime folded her arms, gripping them hard to prevent herself going there stopping the battle.

She wanted to stop them but how? She didn't know a way.

Those two seemed not taking any attention at her action anymore. Kurosaki-kun might tell her stay back and Ulquiorra might just ignore her and continue the fight.

Then suddenly, the sound of Ulquiorra being pushed back interrupted her thought.

Kurosaki-kun successfully cut him, but barely injured him.

Kurosaki-kun said something to Ulquiorra that she couldn't heard well, but Ulquiorra's reaction after that shocked her. He pierced his sword to the floor so powerful that made it split into two pieces of rubbers that were bigger than his size.

She overheard Ulquiorra said that Kurosaki-kun told him that he had become like human.

Orihime was startled because Ulquiorra always disliked to be compared himself to anything related to human. He always said he was a hollow, not human, the being that he deemed as weak, trashy and unworthy.

When his reiatsu rose up more, Orihime knew that he was really angry this time and Kurosaki-kun would get hurt.

She didn't want the outcome of the fight between them repeat one more. She had seen enough the black bloody hole on Kurosaki-kun's chest.

She didn't want to see that again.

Moreover, she didn't want to see Ulquiorra hurting either because he didn't really do anything wrong. Granted that he was the one brought her here, but he didn't do anything that hurt her like the other Arrancar.

Also she hadn't yet answered his question back then.

She had to stop them even if they would be angry at her.

Determinedly, she raised both her palms and mumbled the incantation,

"Santen Kesshun."

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**JinxJen's note:**

All I got to do was getting in Orihime's head thinking of why she didn't do anything.

I noticed that it wasn't like she didn't do anything. She was watching the battle and observing both Ichigo and Ulquiorra while trying to figure out her role and also Ulquiorra's reason within this. Hence, the title.

It was my joy when she chose acting out rather than watching.


	4. THE HESITATION

Thanks for reading the story!

Short chapter :) and UlquiHime confrontation.

**Disclaimers: **I do not own Bleach and their characters (definitely); they are all masterpieces from Kubo-sensei~

* * *

**CHAPTER 3: THE HESITATION**

The shield worked. It stopped Ulquiorra's attack as slashing down on Kurosaki-kun's neck in a nick of time although the barrier shattered the minute after that while Kurosaki-kun stepped backward.

Orihime could felt Ulquiorra's intense gaze back on her as she braced herself up to look at him nervously.

"What are you doing?" Ulquiorra asked in low tone, as if he was irritated of her meddling in his fight.

However, Orihime was surprised at his inquiry, "…Huh…"

_What am I doing?_

"I'm asking you why you saved him." He continued, repeating the obvious question.

Orihime couldn't follow his intention as for why Ulquiorra didn't ignore her as a wallflower as she thought he would like usual.

_Why did he ask me "why"? He should know the answer._

Orihime muttered, "Why…? I…"

"Because he's your friend?"

_He did know. _

But his next questions made her going to the doubtful and wordless state.

"If that's case, then why didn't you protect him from beginning? Why did you hesitate?"

This time she couldn't answer back, "I…"

What should she say? Why did she not interfere at the beginning?

"I just…"

As Orihime tried to find out words to reply, she didn't notice Ulquiorra was coming closer.

"You don't know, do you? Let me tell you. You are-"

"Shut up already" Kurosaki-kun's voice made both Ulquiorra and Orihime returned their attention back to him.

Kurosaki-kun said it didn't matter whether she hesitated to protect him or not. He thanked her for protecting him and told her stay back. Although she had expected him saying that, hearing his words directly was hurt more than she thought.

Because it seemed that Kurosaki-kun really didn't want her to protect him.

She stumble her feet back and back more until her back leaned against the wall looking those two figures becoming smaller and smaller.

She had interfered in the fight but it didn't work.

Both of them did not stop fighting.

While Ulquiorra's questions made her feel doubtful over her motivation for her slow reacting, it was Kurosaki-kun's words telling her stay back that hurt her more.

Just like the time when he fought with Byakuya-san, she could only stand back and watch him fighting from afar. Because even if she was there at the battle, she was just a hindrance to him. She felt so helpless at that time for not to be able to help him and he was hurt in process. And this time was different yet the same.

She did protect him, but Kurosaki-kun didn't really need her protection at all.

She didn't feel helpless this time, but she still felt that she was a hindrance to the fight. Because the fight between them become more and more personal, she couldn't interfere right at the beginning and then also now.

* * *

**JinxJen's note:**

I'm dealing with Orihime's turmoil, and of course there would be some sort of wrong thinking in her head will occur in the story later in the way I interpreted her character while reading Bleach in this arc.

Next chapter will be the start of the Sins : I tried to follow canon manga, but as soon as I follow Orihime's POV through the events, you would pick up bits to bits of her mind which have not been told in manga yet.


	5. THE ENVY

Thanks for reading the story!

Here we go! The start of the first sin chapter.

**Disclaimers:** I do not own Bleach and their characters (definitely); they are all masterpieces from Kubo-sensei~

* * *

**CHAPTER 4: THE ENVY**

Clouding with her thought, Orihime didn't realize the shadows hovering behind her.

By the time she reacted, her mouth and her hands were restricted. She realized who her attackers were.

They were the Arrancar sisters that came to her cell and harassed her before. They seemed coming back to revenge at her. The black-hair girl named Loly spoke with her high-pitch voice along with shooting her crazy and angry look toward Orihime.

Orihime didn't understand as for the reason why they could think she took their place in Aizen's heart after she was thrown away by the same person. If she really had a place in Aizen's heart, or at least had any use to him, he wouldn't announce her as useless to others. She pitied for what Aizen had done to them.

The reason for her behaving nasty…

Was it because Loly really liked Aizen enough to feel jealous at her?

Orihime remembered back her own jealousy at Kuchiki-san. She wasn't sure that she should feel better or worse. These girls and she were the same kind of people. Because the one they liked took notice another girl better than them, it was natural to feel jealous. It was human's nature.

Was that what Ulquiorra meant when he implied at her already to be "one of them"?

Yes, she had become like him and the rest of Arrancar already even if she tried hard to suppress those awful feelings deep down inside her soul. Although the degree of the behavior of each one was different, the feeling that she and these Arrancar sisters felt was the same: the envy at the light, the craving for attention, the anger at being weak, the pride to save any remains of dignity, and the longing for _love_.

Feeling sympathy, Orihime didn't really want to fight with her at all. In the end, she endured the attack from those sisters until she saw a black shadow rushing toward in the corner of her eyes. Her body suddenly was swung forward as a shield and she felt Loly's fingers marking over her left eyes.

"Stay back! Come any closer and I'll gouge her eyes out!" Loly yelled.

But all Orihime saw was a black energy blast keep coming closer.

Kurosaki-kun did not hesitate using Getsuga despite _she_ was being held as a shield?

And then in the next moment the color of white overwhelmed in her eyes.

She heard Loly's voice tremble, "Ulquiorra".

Glancing at the corner of her eyes, Orihime could see the shock of disbelief inside Loly's eyes. She wanted to look up to see, yet Loly's hands kept pushing her head down.

Ulquiorra's indifferent voice suddenly became a wonderful medication to ease the tension kept popping inside her head.

"Don't get the wrong idea. I wasn't trying to save you."

Whatever Ulquiorra's reason for saving Loly was, because of his action, Loly's attack on her was halted for a moment. And Orihime was thankful for that. But sadly, it only resumed back to violence when Orihime tried to lift her head up to see where Ulquiorra and Kurosaki-kun were. The Arrancar sisters stepped back and dragged her in a safer place and continued their abusing.

While she couldn't see a thing, Kurosaki-kun's voice was loud enough to her ears for "Move!" and "Move!" and "Shut up!"

By Kurosaki-kun's hoarse and passionate voice, Orihime figured out that he was enraged by someone.

Someone had stopped him on his track coming toward her.

_Who? _

The white figure that she saw before.

_Ulquiorra._

_

* * *

_**JinxJen's note:**

The Envy with Loly and Melony making their appearance.

Talking about envy, it was the issues occurring to both Orihime and Ulquiorra. Orihime is the obvious while Ulquiorra is the subtle one.

I love this chapter because there's a damsel in distress and someone had decided to be heroic, but he wasn't the prince.


	6. THE GLUTTONY

Thanks for reading the story!

It's a chapter of chaos where Ulquiorra seemed to pay no mind at Orihime after the previous saving arc. Orihime's dilemma continued.

**Disclaimers:** I do not own Bleach and their characters (definitely); they are all masterpieces from Kubo-sensei~

* * *

**CHAPTER 5: THE GLUTTONY**

Before she had time to think about Ulquiorra's action, a loud noise was made behind her, and both the Arrancar sisters stopped their attacking at her. She felt Loly's hand shaking terribly on her shoulder. Something scared her.

Orihime wanted to turn her head. And by the time she did it, she witnessed the other sister was sent flying to the wall. Looking carefully the front, she saw Yammy.

She didn't have to review her memories to know what kind of guy Yammy was on the first time she encountered him. Just looking at his size more enormous than before, she just knew she was in deep trouble.

She heard Yammy yelled to Ulquiorra and asked him about Loly. However, based on Ulquiorra's very low voice, she was sure that he didn't care what happened to Loly at all.

Did that mean he also didn't care about her also being attacked by Yammy either?

Oh great! First it was Kurosaki-kun firing Getsuga toward her direction regardless her being there. Now it's Ulquiorra's turn to have no care over her going to be squashed up by Yammy.

She felt ironic for herself getting in this situation. She had to get out of Loly's grip.

She had to save herself.

Indeed after that Loly pushed Orihime's body away roughly to the floor behind. Orihime heard Loly calling out her sword's name – releasing her Arrancar form.

The fight was pretty short because Yammy overpowered Loly. But Orihime was disgust at Yammy for how cruel he treated Loly after she had no strength to fight him back.

"Wait," Orihime shouted right the moment Yammy throwing Loly out of the hole on the wall. And she almost regretted at her loud volume because she made Yammy noticed at her.

When Yammy asked Ulquiorra again the permission to kill her, she automatically glanced her eyes at Ulquiorra. For sure, she thought he would say "No, I don't mind. Kill her." with his cold indifferent voice but no, the look he gave Yammy wasn't the look of approval at all. She didn't know how to describe it, but it was tenfold intense and furious than the time he looked at Grimmjow angrily. And he even didn't want to reply Yammy's question.

When she turned back at Yammy, she saw his huge body seemed leaning forward.

No, he was falling forward. She saw something stuck on his shoulder.

A blue arrow.

Back at the hole on the wall, another white figure flight above between her and Yammy and landed on the floor gracefully.

_Ishida-kun?_

She couldn't see what was in front of her for a moment because there was a pillar of fire and smoke suddenly rising at her direction of sighting. The wind pressure and the dust added more the effect of blurring the view.

When everything was clear, Yammy was gone and Ishida-kun was there talking with Kurosaki-kun while Ulquiorra was just standing still and looking at them with his emotionless bored look.

"Take care of Inoue." Kurosaki-kun's voice took her eyes back to him. He turned his back at her and exchanged glance with Ulquiorra.

_Kurosaki-kun asked Ishida-kun to protect me but why do you continue to fight, Kurosaki-kun?_

**

* * *

JinxJen's note:**

The Gluttony with Yammy as a villain and Ishida as a shining-knight-in-armor making appearance.

Orihime referred Ishida as "Ishida-kun" in her POV and I will keep it that way through this fic.

Orihime was pretty much gotten in an ironic situation where no one cared about her (at least in her thought anyway)

While she didn't seem like to think about herself much because of her low self-esteem, she would think about how other people acted toward her. Well, that's what my impression got at Orihime's character.

See you in the next chapter.


	7. THE GREED

Thanks for reading the story!

Starting from this chapter, the following Sin titles I used will not follow exactly what happened in the manga canon because I focus on Orihime's POV only.

**Disclaimers:** I do not own Bleach and their characters (definitely); they are all masterpieces from Kubo-sensei~

* * *

**CHAPTER 6: THE GREED**

When Orihime finally stood up, she saw Kurosaki-kun's reiatsu rose up more thicker and darker, but she could withstand it no problem.

In the next second, both Ulquiorra and Kurosaki-kun had gone out of the hole on the wall. She ran closer to the hole to see clearly with Ishida-kun following her behind.

And then she felt Ulquiorra's reiastu moving upward in high speed while Kurosaki-kun's reiatsu followed him behind.

In the middle of the blue sky, there was a spot of black. It was the night sky outside Las Noches. The night sky that she was used to view through the bar window in her cell.

_They were outside Las Noches._

Ulquiorra might do his duty to protect Las Noches, but Kurosaki-kun didn't really come here to destroy it. Because of her, Kurosaki-kun had come to this place and opposed with Ulquiorra.

If this was a misunderstanding, would they realize and stop fighting? Orihime glanced over the sky with her worry look.

"…Inoue-san?"

Looking back at her side, response to the warm voice calling her, she looked at Ishida-kun's face turning softer as a relief of seeing her alright.

Then he smiled at her, ensuring her, "… Don't worry. Kurosaki's going to win."

She reluctantly forced herself a smile at him and nodded.

She wasn't sure if Kurosaki-kun was going to win. Ishida-kun didn't know Ulquiorra as much as she knew about him.

Now Ulquiorra was in his confused state that couldn't fight generously while Ichigo was bent on fighting, she only prayed that nothing bad would happen to both of them.

Because she knew that Kurosaki-kun was a kind person. He wouldn't kill anyone or hurt anyone without reasons.

If it was Kurosaki-kun, he would always be okay.

If it was Kurosaki-kun, he would always win against evil and save the lost one.

But she wasn't sure about Ulquiorra. She had never been able to read him.

Sometimes, when he talked to her, he would show her some expressions in his eyes and all of them were very human-like.

Sometimes, he was not. He was cold and emotionless just like a robot that was programmed to act automatically.

Sometimes, he was just _strange_. He talked about one thing while did another different thing from what he said and she couldn't figure out his mood swing.

If it was possible, she hoped Kurosaki-kun could reach Ulquiorra's heart, just like what Kurosaki-kun did to her and to others before.

If it was possible, she hoped Ulquiorra could understand Kurosaki-kun's heart and spared him.

If it was possible, she hoped both of them could get out of this fight alive together.

But she soon regretted those wishes later.

* * *

**JinxJen's note:**

So even if Ichigo and Ulquiorra dragged themselves to another place, leaving Orihime behind, her mind would not take off from them. I was a little bit feel sorry for Ishida here.

This is a foreshadow chapter. Though unlike the manga using Ishida to foreshadow, I used Orihime. If you read Bleach, you could get it through, so just keep on reading.


	8. THE PRIDE

Thanks for reading the story!

So while Ulquiorra and Ichigo were both busy fighting on the dome, let's return back to Orihime's thought toward them.

This time we would see the conversation between Orihime and Ishida who stayed behind inside the dome.

**Disclaimers:** I do not own Bleach and their characters (definitely); they are all masterpieces from Kubo-sensei~

* * *

**CHAPTER 7: THE PRIDE**

The steam of reiatsu poured down from above the sky like a heavy rain.

Both Orihime and Ishida-kun felt weak in their knees.

Orihime couldn't be able to withstand this one. She felt herself dropped and she had to use her hand to grip her other arm propping on the stone pedestal to support her whole back up.

This is not Kurosaki-kun's reiatsu.

This heavy, thick and dense reiastu just like darkness is from…

_Ulquiorra._

Lifting her head, she couldn't dare to avert her eyes out of the sky for any second. She didn't dare to blink.

Something had happened up there.

She didn't know what happened but for Ulquiorra went all out of with this kind of reiatsu told her that Kurosaki-kun was in trouble. He needed help… _definitely_ needed help.

What should she do?

She wanted to come up there.

She wanted to see. She wanted to see if Kurosaki-kun needed her help.

She wanted to be useful. She wanted to be any help for him.

If she could help him, Kurosaki-kun might listen to her and stop the fight. Maybe Ulquiorra wouldn't accept with her action, but she wanted to save her friends from him, also him from her friends in this meaningless fight where both of them were hurt deep inside themselves.

"… Ishida-kun." Looking at the glasses gentleman standing by her side with once again determined yet cautious eyes, Orihime carefully chose her words, "… Can you take me up to the roof?" together with her soft pleading, "… Please."

Ishida-kun gazed back at her with his tender eyes as if he knew that she would ask him that question. And then his eyes turned sad – he was thinking about her well-being to consider whether he should bring her to that dangerous place where she might not return back to the way she was before.

Not until he heard another of her "please", then he knew that he couldn't turn her down.

Orihime saw him nodded and spoke audible enough for her to hear, "I'll go with you."

Ishida-kun stepped through on the marble of the wall to the sky ahead.

Below his feet formed something looked like a large disk. A blue platform made of reiatsu in a circle shape.

Orihime carefully treaded on that energy platform following Ishida-kun's movement. It was pretty solid like the ground itself.

"Let's go!" Ishida-kun said as a sign and the disk suddenly moved upward in a steady slow speed.

Because of the suddenly shift, Orihime found herself grabbing Ishida-kun's coat to keep her balance.

Now, it looked like an elevator.

"This is… pretty cool." Orihime commented while observing the function of the board that Ishida made.

Ishida-kun let out an awkward smile and told her this was the ability that he found out when he crossed the Garganta.

Though when he said if he had figure out this ability could used in Hueco Mundo sooner, it could have been used in the battle, there was a bit sadness in his voice. It seemed that Ishida-kun also experienced some harsh fights before coming here. He said as if he had regretted that he didn't realize all of his strength and power that he couldn't help in the right moment at all.

_I'm also the same, Ishida-kun. _

Looking at Ishida-kun in consideration, she didn't have anything to say but his name.

After all, they were in the same situation as bystanders.

* * *

**JinxJen's note:**

The title of this chapter is about Ishida who Orihime felt herself related to in a similar role.

I thought a lot about Orihime's real reason when she decided to come up to the dome where Ichigo and Ulquiorra were fighting fiercely. Orihime was fully aware the strength of both, yet she let her desire and her blind hope in Ichigo lead her instead the logic of the mind.

Will Orihime be able to meet Ulquiorra next chapter? Tune in and see.


	9. THE SLOTH

Thanks for reading the story!

Sorry, this one is a teaser for UlquiHime reunion. But it's all about Orihime to Ulquiorra.

**Disclaimers:** I do not own Bleach and their characters (definitely); they are all masterpieces from Kubo-sensei~

* * *

**CHAPTER 8: THE SLOTH**

Suddenly, the world around them turned black.

No, more likely, both of them felt like the end of the world just now falling down to their faces.

All around them was surrounded by darkness with no light.

Orihime and Ishida-kun looked up where the hole in the sky was before. It seemed that hole was not the only light they could see right at that moment, but also the only source of this thick darkness.

The higher they were moving up, the heavier of the gravity dumped on their bodies.

"Wha-What is this…?" Ishida-kun said with his trembled voice. "It's coming from above the dome."

The gravity was heavier and heavier that speaking even sounded painful like something had just grabbed his lungs and squeezed it, not letting any air out.

This was not even like reiatsu anymore.

"What the hell… is this…?... Is this a reiatsu…?" Ishida-kun tried to force his voice out, tried his best to calm down and analyze the phenomenon.

Orihime looked up in terror. She didn't know what this was. But she felt that all her hopes just drown in this black waterfall and fallen away from her.

It was an alien feeling. She felt like she was going to the dark cave without any light out. Like a little feeble fish tried to swim out of the strong wave in the dark ocean but got flooding along the wave.

"… This is…"

_Hopeless._

Yes, it was hopeless.

It was despair.

All of negative thoughts in the world just came as one up there.

Who in the world would get into this kind of insane sorrowful feeling?

If that person was human, he could never have that. This feeling didn't belong to human's realm. It belonged to hell… to the inferno of the earth.

"…This is bad… We have to hurry…!" Ishida-kun said in a suppressed voice, grinding his teeth together. Sweat drops unknowingly flowed out from his face.

When the elevator got up to the hole, without any warning to each other, both Ishida-kun and Orihime jumped out on the ground of the dome.

While Ishida-kun stopped and looked around to sense Kurosaki-kun's reiatsu, Orihime just ran straight toward the moon like madness.

Her heart told her _"just run there" _because that was where an alien reiatsu was.

Bringing any hope left in her heart, she was helplessly running toward the direction of hopeless by herself.

"So you came, did you? Woman."

An eerie voice that could creep deep to the soul made her joint her head upward. She looked up astoundingly.

This must be a bad dream that had ever come true.

* * *

**JinxJen's note:**

In manga, it was Ishida, who was always perceptive when in came to detect reiatsu, made a distinct note about Ulquiorra's strange reiatsu in his POV.

Meanwhile in this chapter, I want to express how Orihime thought and felt when she came in contact with Ulquiorra's strange reiatsu. And she pretty much guessed right what Ulquiorra was.

How would Orihime feel when she witnesses Ulquiorra's sexy release? Confrontation between Orihime and Ulquiorra will be in the next chapter.


	10. THE WRATH

Thanks for reading the story!

We're at 10 chapters already. Do you still keep on reading? I was so happy that you did. Please keep on doing that until the end.

Feel the "true despair", UlquiHime confrontation continues. Please don't forget Kurosaki-kun.

**Disclaimers:** I do not own Bleach and their characters (definitely); they are all masterpieces from Kubo-sensei~

* * *

**CHAPTER 9: THE WRATH**

Up high there on the tower, under the moonlight, a devil had come and taken her prince away from _his_ princess.

Before she had time to gaze Ulquiorra's new strange appearance, she was gawped in horror at the sight Kurosaki-kun being beaten up on the side from the support of Ulquiorra's tail.

She couldn't help but spell out his name – the name of her savior – the name of the one that she put all her hopes into.

"Just in time to witness the death of the boy you put all your hopes into."

It was like Ulquiorra could read her thought right at that moment. But she had no time to think about him or his new appearance anymore.

She had to stop Ulquiorra, stopping what he was going to do.

She didn't want Ulquiorra kill Kurosaki-kun because she had put her hope in him.

She didn't want to see Kurosaki-kun die because of her. She just wanted everything to stop.

This was not right. Something was wrong.

"STOP!"

Before she knew it, she heard her voice already yelling and shouting and felt her body reacting and moving without any thought.

But only with the next step, all she saw was a piercing blackness above and a heart… _was destroyed_.

The world was spinning around here, but the image in her eyes was as clear as the night sky.

This was reality. This was not a dream.

She could see the night sky through Kurosaki-kun, through the heart in Kurosaki-kun's chest, through the hole in his chest.

His heart was gone.

It seemed time was moving extremely slow like in 5 lifetimes. Staring the scene in horror, she was frozen dead standing at the spot slowly and slowly until she could zoom in Kurosaki-kun's bloody body with a big gaping hole in his chest.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

She heard something shrieking an awful noise until she realized that was her own voice. She felt herself breathe rapidly and she realized that she was running.

Even her Santen Kisshun fairies were already out without her incantation to prevent Kurosaki-kun's body from falling.

Everything just happened in the flash.

Everything happened just like a bad dream that she wanted to wake up soon.

Her heart was racing in haste against the time likely it was going to burst. But soon the reality just kept slapping her back on the face when Ulquiorra appeared in front of her out of nowhere. And she thought that her heart was burst and stopped right at that moment.

"Forget it. You can't connect back his life." Ulquiorra said with a low frequency tone than ever.

The new green color of his sclera and the yellow irises gazed at her sharp and cold.

He had successfully searched through deep into her soul, stripping all of hopes in her heart.

He was taunting her, but she really didn't have any time to challenge his taunt right now.

_It was because of me that you killed him right? _

_Because I put my hope in him so you wouldn't let me help him?_

She stared back to him, half dumbfound half convinced herself with a look of "I must to" at him.

While Ulquiorra was distracted for a moment by Ishida-kun, she dashed without looking back with only one hope in her mind.

She hoped Kurosaki-kun would be alright.

* * *

**JinxJen's note:**

Santen Kisshun is one of Orihime's abilities from her hairpin to create a triangle shield.

This chapter picked up in a rapid pace where Orihime raced against the time to reach toward Ichigo and lost. Ulquiorra seems the one who got the goal first.

I wanted at least to describe the momentum of that moment where the fear of Ulquiorra was never in her thought. To me, it looks like a look of "desperate disbelief" when she gazed at Ulquiorra's betrayal all her hopes.

Orihime's denial of the reality mostly showed its shape in this chapter.

Next chapter, she will go wrong, I'm sure.


	11. THE LUST

Thanks for reading the story!

Lust Arc starts. So is Orihime's nightmare.

**Disclaimers:** I do not own Bleach and their characters (definitely); they are all masterpieces from Kubo-sensei~

* * *

**CHAPTER 10: THE LUST**

Calling out his name again like a broken record, her Soten Kissun had already been activated without incantation.

When she came closer to him, she froze, starring in shock at his lifeless body, at his lifeless eyes.

His body was unmoving. It was just like the last time again.

Unknowingly, hot tears were falling like rain on her cheeks burning constantly. She couldn't help but accept this was real. The feeling of sadness overwhelmed her.

How could this happen?

What did she do?

Did she already know the outcome would be? Why did she let it happen again?

_What should I do?_

She didn't know what to do now or what to do next. What should she do now?

Falling herself on her knee with a heavy thud, even the last hope she held was gone. It had followed that black light and didn't come back.

She realized that she was so naïve.

Somehow, somewhere in her heart, she thought, if it was Kurosaki-kun, he would always be alright. No one could beat Kurosaki-kun. If it was him then he would always win. She believed it so strongly and just rejected the reality in front of her eyes.

Now Kurosaki-kun's body was lying motionless on the ground, while his blood kept bleeding from the gapping hole in his chest dyeing red the white marble floor. Her healing was awfully slow and much even slower than the first time she tried to heal him.

She had to concentrate. She had to heal him.

She had to connect his life back. But her will was not working.

There was no progressing in anything healed.

The hole was still there as big as a basket hole. The blood was still flowing out nonstop.

_What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?_

This question repeated like a mantra in her head. She had called out her healing fairies to heal Kurosaki-kun. But the healing was not working or not fast enough. And what would she do if she couldn't heal him? What would she do if that time came?

Holding her head ringing with nonstop despair scenarios threatening to come, scratching her hair with her fingers hard enough to keep herself together, think… think… _THINK_.

Red blood splashed across nearby her side in that agony moment.

She looked up in panic and saw more blood bleeding terribly from Ishida-kun's arm.

His left hand was gone.

"…Ishida-kun…!"

"Don't worry! I'm okay!" Ishida-kun got in and out of his breath, "Inoue-san… Take care of Kurosaki-kun!"

He was trying hard to stand. He definitely forced his body to move to fight.

Without hesitation, Ishida-kun ran toward Ulquiorra with a sword on his remained hand.

"… Ishida-kun…!" Orihime called his name hastily in a strangled voice together with the saltiness sunk in her mouth.

She wanted to call him back.

She wanted to call him come back here and tell her what she should do now.

She had taken care of Kurosaki-kun already, but Kurosaki-kun didn't seem to get up. He didn't seem to be alive. Her power didn't seem working at all.

Ishida-kun was protecting her and Kurosaki-kun. He was getting hurt while keep running toward Ulquiorra.

When she saw Ishida-kun also falling down to the ground, her fairies had automatically gone and made a shield toward him. But it was futile because Ulquiorra broke her shield like nothing.

Ulquiorra would not stop his attacking until he saw there was no attack coming at him anymore.

Ulquiorra's tail swung back and forth in line of her range vision. He was looking straight at her though his action was all toward her friends.

He was just only a few steps away from her.

What would she do if he confronted her like the last time?

All of opinions she thought about Ulquiorra and the heart he searched might be all her misinterpretation, her big false impression. Ulquiorra might not look for heart to have it, but to destroy it himself.

If that was so, then even if she managed to heal Kurosaki-kun, there was no guarantee that he wouldn't get hurt again. Like the last fight with Grimmjow.

Sooner or later, Ishida-kun would be gone and she would have no one to protect anymore. If she lost her friends, she would lost her heart. What was the point to continue fighting?

She was incapable to do anything to save any of them at this moment.

Kurosaki-kun.

Ishida-kun.

_Ulquiorra._

What should she do?

If Kurosaki-kun was here, what would he do?

If Kurosaki-kun was awaked, would he tell her what she should do?

_Tell me what to do, Kurosaki-kun. _

_If it was you, what would you do to stop them? What would you do if you were in my situation?_

_What should I do to help you? To help them?_

_I'm lost, Kurosaki-kun. _

_I just don't understand anything. I don't understand you. _

_I don't understand Ulquiorra. I don't understand myself. _

_I don't understand this fight._

"Kurosaki-kun" and his lying body image were the last two things she could find on her mind.

She searched and searched for a solution, for a salvation, for a way to help her out of this despair situation in her mind.

Who would help her? Who would tell her what she should do to stop this madness?

_Please tell me…_

_Please…_

_Help…_

_Kurosaki-kun…_

"Help me, Kurosaki-kun!" She cried and cried all her heart out in a broken voice.

She wanted somebody help and she only found Kurosaki-kun in her mind.

She only had one person to tell her the way out in her heart.

Her invincible prince – Her unbeaten hero – Kurosaki-kun.

She wanted him at least come out of her mind and help her get through the tunnel of this darkness. Just tell her what she should do.

She called out whatever came out of her mind blindly.

Be it a devil or a monster. Just help her.

* * *

**JinxJen's note:**

Uwa, such depressed chapter where nothing but crying and chanting from Orihime.

Orihime's mind during that state is hard to process as normal thought for a normal person in such crucial situation. It was wrong, but right at that time Orihime hadn't realized yet. So I interpreted as much as I could in what happened in the manga. You will understand in the later chapters.

Proudly to say that the impression Orihime held toward Ulquiorra also went wrong, but in different way. Please keep reading to see how her feeling change toward in this battle.


	12. THE NIGHTMARE

Thanks for reading the story!

Lust Arc continue. Orihime's new nightmare continues.

**Disclaimers:** I do not own Bleach and their characters (definitely); they are all masterpieces from Kubo-sensei~

* * *

**CHAPTER 11: THE NIGHTMARE**

In a broken and piercing cry upon the endless night sky, something was crawling in the black pool of death. Something was murmuring though no sound was made, so nobody could hear. The vision which was supposed to return to the light had gone back to black. However, something was moving.

Standing on red blood, wheezing an unpleasant sound, a monster was born.

_I didn't wish for this._

Sensing something behind her, hearing a strange sound that didn't really belong to human, seeing the shadow shading on the ground, Orihime turned her head back in a slow motion.

She couldn't believe in what she saw.

_What is this?_

"… Huh?" Her lips parted with a choke.

Orihime looked at the spot where Kurosaki-kun should have been laying there for healing.

Kurosaki-kun wasn't in there.

Neither was her shield. It had been shattered. Her fairies had fled away, returning back to the hairpin as fast as they could. Something had pushed them back to her hairpin.

Tremblingly, she slowly lifted her head, watching the strange creature next to her.

The creature's skin color was ashen white, just like Ulquiorra's skin. It had claws in both feet and hands. There were some red furry tuffs around the ankles and wrists. Orihime tried to look up and up. She saw a strange black marking around the big black hole in the middle of the chest. There were red furry tuffs around its neck too.

When she finally gazed her sight at the head, she still couldn't verify what it was to her. All she saw was a strange skull mask with two horns on the sides. She didn't see anything behind that hollow eye sockets besides darkness. She wasn't sure if it could see or not.

All she heard was its breathing some rumbling sound. And she was sure those sound didn't belong to human's. Hearing those sounds made her skin creep down to her bones.

Something was moving by the wind behind its back and she realized it had a long hair, long bright auburn hair.

_Where is Kurosaki-kun? _

Only until she finally zoomed out the whole view of the creature, she realized that this one also wore the same tattered shinigami outfit just like Kurosaki-kun's.

"… Ku-ro-sa-ki…!" Ishida-kun's voice whispered confusingly from a far and Orihime caught his voice.

_What did Ishida-kun just say?_

Orihime stared at the creature, _"…This is… Kurosaki-kun!"_

She didn't know, but she felt herself frozen at the spot where she was sitting.

Fear?

Yes, every nerve in her body told her this was fear. She felt fear. She didn't know this one.

This feeling wasn't Kurosaki-kun.

"… Impossible." Ulquiorra's voice also ringing around her ears as if he repeated her thought over and over.

Ulquiorra was talking something more but she couldn't catch any of his words. She was also unsure. She still tried to figure the explanation for the appearance of this creature.

She didn't have enough time for her confirmation again when she finally heard Ulquiorra's voice tauntingly asking the mask creature the clear question, "Who are you?"

The creature remained silent but stretched its hand outward, and Kurosaki-kun's sword – Zangestu – which previously was stuck on the ground afar was flying toward his open hand.

By the time Orihime realized, with one swift swing downward created the gust of reiatsu that was too strong for her to handle. The ground around her fissured into pieces and she felt her body being blown away violently. However, because she was still kneeling on the ground, she couldn't even stand up straight and end up falling with her face on the ground due to the pressure of the forceful reiatsu.

She tried to use hands and feet to hold up the ground, but they were useless. The wind was so strong.

If Ishida-kun didn't catch her back, she was sure that she might have been blown out of the dome.

The next sound after that was a terrified roaring sound for the overture of another nightmare that she had never ever wanted to dream about it in every of her lifetime.

* * *

**JinxJen's note:**

Ichigo was gone out of conscious and _something_ came out wrong. That results the Orihime's face planting. It's was a good experience for me to have chance to describe Orihime's thought about how she viewed what Ichigo had became and gone denial, synchronizing with Ulquiorra.

Ulquiorra wouldn't forgive such act had done to his woman. But it's the nightmare so Ulquiorra would not get a happy ending after all.


	13. THE REALITY

Thanks for reading the story!

The nightmare is a delusion, you had been fooled. Face the real, Orihime!

**Disclaimers:** I do not own Bleach and their characters (definitely); they are all masterpieces from Kubo-sensei~

* * *

**CHAPTER 12: THE REALITY**

Following that shrill roar, there were sounds of explosion. Sound of the clashing between reiatsu or energy blasts of black and white.

Orihime couldn't see anything in the middle of this mist full of sand and dust and smoke from the column of fire.

Her eyes had been blurred from all the crying.

Her body had been ached all over from head to toes, but what ached most probably was her heart. She tried to ignore the pain, pushing the wound away to the deep corner of her mind.

Orihime felt Ishida-kun's hand gripping on her shoulder, trying to hold her down, hold her still from not being pushed away by the effect of the howling tempest happened in the middle of the dome. Both Orihime and Ishida-kun tried to set their body as low as they could.

Actually, standing wasn't the best option they could do at that time, because they simply couldn't stand firm while not being blown away. Ishida-kun sat firm down on one knees while Orihime had to use both her hands to crawl and support herself up.

By the time, her view became clearer when she looked up. Instead of seeing any more mist of dust, she saw a drizzle of blood splashing down. And the howling sound accompanied along just added more the effect of horror for the nightmare that she had never wanted to dream of.

"… No…" Orihime whispered with her shaking voice horrifyingly. Her eyes widened in shock and disbelief.

_What is this?_

"No way" Orihime muttered, this time with more confusion in her voice. She felt her face damp with all the sweat constantly dropping. Her whole body was trembling as she kneeled near Ishida-kun.

_It can't be…_

Unknowing to Orihime, Ishida-kun who was next to her also looked at the scene in front of him bewilderingly in silent. Like her, he was shocked too.

"Is that really… Kurosaki-kun?"

They looked at the creature standing stationary on the air behind the curtain of fire, its right hand held Zangetsu while the left held _another arm_ – Ulquiorra's arm.

The flashback was painful. Orihime was sure that she had just witnessed a brutal scene where a monster just used its claw to rip off a person's limb. That act was inhuman. Only beast or animal or devil or monster could do that.

Kurosaki-kun would never do that. Because Kurosaki-kun is a human. He is a kind human.

_This is bizarre. What have I done?_

Blood was still falling from Ulquiorra's ripped arm in the hand of the unknown creature in Kurosaki-kun's form. The blood from Ulquiorra's ripped arm was sprayed out over the space above and below and some were splashed on its mask and horns to mark the cruelty of the act.

Ulquiorra landed himself back on the ground, trying to stand firm though his hard breathing could be heard from such far distance.

From afar, Orihime and Ishida-kun saw the two small figures.

One on the air standing silently. One on the ground panting with heavy breaths.

The time between them was still. The air motion around them was still. The only thing that was moving was the blood dripping out from Ulquiorra's arm, falling drop by drop on the heap of rubbles.

_Ulquiorra's hurt._

In a blink, Orihime placed her hand on her chest. There was a sharp pain throbbing in her heart.

Why did her heart felt hurt when she saw Ulquiorra hurt?

Because Kurosaki-kun was hurting him?

No. Was that really because Kurosaki-kun who was hurting him?

She didn't know what real source was causing this pain in her heart. But she didn't like it – she didn't like seeing Ulquiorra getting hurt.

It was the same pain as watching Kurosaki-kun's being hurt.

* * *

**JinxJen's note:**

I was update three chapters in one go because I've mostly finished them already. Hopefully I could update all at the end of this month.

Since it had been decided in Lust Arc that Orihime's role is mostly a bystander. She would only watch the fight and couldn't interfere. So she would had a lot of moment of thought when she saw Ichigo acted like a beast and felt something toward Ulquiorra's being hurt, but hadn't understood the reason of the pain.

UlquiHime will go on increasing chapter by chapter even if it's Orihime's POV. Because the shift of Orihime's feeling will slowly take place in those following chapters.


	14. THE PARALLEL

Thanks for reading the story!

Since Ichigo's conscious was gone to the other world. I took time for my UlquiHime-ness in this chapter.

**Disclaimers:** I do not own Bleach and their characters (definitely); they are all masterpieces from Kubo-sensei~

* * *

**CHAPTER 13: THE PARALLEL**

Later, Orihime saw Ulquiorra stretched his arm which was ripped off outward. Somehow, flesh, blood and bones from his arm were formed back as normal in a high speed as if nothing ever happened to his arm. But the arm hanging in the creature's hand told Orihime the reality otherwise.

_He heals himself?_

" … The greatest of my power is not offense, but regeneration. Among of those Arrancar who lose most of their ability to high speed regeneration in exchange for greater power, I alone can rapidly regenerate anything other than my brain and internal organ." Ulquiorra spoke with his voice strangled and slow, and it didn't sound calm like before.

He must have felt the great pain when his arm was ripped off. Though the fact that Orihime realized Ulquiorra chose the ability healing himself over other offensive powers made her surprise.

While her ability was to heal others, his ability was somehow akin to her, thought it was only used for himself. And he was still so strong without any greater power adding in.

Orihime wondered if that was the reason Ulquiorra set on her power was because they were alike. Still, it was more like he was fixed on her as herself _– her inside – her soul – her heart –_ rather than her power.

Occupying with her thought, she didn't hear what Ulquiorra said after that.

Suddenly, there was a golden light glowing around Ulquiorra's area. It was too bright, even brighter than the moonlight which was supposed the only light source for Orihime to watch the battle. But the new light from Ulquiorra made her eyes dazzled and she couldn't make out anything besides the shadow of his back imprinting on the ground. Even when her eyes finally adjusted with the brightness, she still couldn't see what Ulquiorra was doing.

_I want to come closer._

"Don't come any closer. Stay right there."

Ulquiorra's voice shocked Orihime as if he just read her thought. Even though he didn't really look at her, but at Kurosaki-kun, he spoke as if he knew her intention.

Orihime doubted it. Maybe it wasn't her that he was talking to.

Even so, she did like he said. She stopped her movement – _not coming closer_.

"If possible, I'd like to avoid firing this from this close." Ulquiorra spoke with an uncertainty and hesitance in his voice.

This was the first time Orihime heard him making a tone like that. He was afraid or a rather unsure about his attack. This wasn't like Ulquiorra who was always over confidence in control of everything.

Did the new and strange appearance of the creature in Kurosaki-kun's form somehow make him shatter somewhere? Did he also feel that this creature wasn't Kurosaki-kun at all?

Ulquiorra shifted his body, and this time, Orihime finally saw what he was holding - a golden lighting arrow. In the next second, he threw that light toward Kurosaki-kun.

It went passed Kurosaki-kun.

The thought of "Ulquiorra missed!" in Orihime's mind went as fast as a fleeting light since the effect after the light missed and exploded in another place rebounded back to the dome. Orihime thought her eardrums were going to burst from the sound. And the wind pressure tortured her at the worst.

Orihime struggled to stay steady. Both of her hand and knees already glued to the ground, yet somehow there was another force trying to lift her body upward and drive her away. It wasn't help when Ishida-kun also backed her up by the side.

So this was Ulquiorra meant for "not coming close"?

Orihime saw the light flying very far, as far as the end of the horizon, yet the effect of its explosion was too huge to measure exactly as if it could swallow a small city into dust.

If this was fired in a near distance, what would happen to the dome? To Las Noches?

Would Ulquiorra be okay?

"…He… can fire off as many of those as he like…!" Orihime heard Ishida-kun's surprising voice as a narrator for the battle.

She still couldn't be able to lift her head up. She wondered if she had sprained somewhere in her neck.

Maybe she was afraid to face the scenario where she might see both Ulquiorra and Kurosaki-kun getting hurt.

Why did it seem that Ulquiorra was the only one fighting for himself now?

Because Kurosaki-kun might not be the same Kurosaki-kun right now.

He was different.

He was _scary_.

She saw nothing in his eyes, only the empty hollow sockets within the mask.

She couldn't realize Kurosaki-kun in her eyes.

She was _scared_.

She had called out Kurosaki-kun for help and something answered her call. Something was posing inside Kurosaki-kun, using his body.

It was nothing like Kurosaki-kun at all. It hurt Ulquiorra like an act of an animal, a bestial act.

And Ulquiorra, he… he might _die_.

She couldn't put any belief where they would not die because they were strong in her mind anymore.

She was afraid to look, but she had to. She had to see the end of this madness.

* * *

**JinxJen's note:**

I can't think of any other title besides this one, so if you can make the other comparison different from what Orihime had done, feel free to do so.

Since ever Ulquiorra took the spotlight in this chapter, Orihime's attention was mostly on him.

She was still in denial over what happened to Ichigo though, but the fear pretty much reflected how she really felt about him when she saw him into something else.


	15. THE MERCY

Thanks for reading the story!

This is one heck of ironic titles I used. If you thought that we almost came to the end, no not yet. UlquiHime climax had not yet to come.

**Disclaimers:** I do not own Bleach and their characters (definitely); they are all masterpieces from Kubo-sensei~

* * *

**CHAPTER 14: THE MERCY**

"God was too cruel to her." She murmured inwardly.

She wanted to scream, yet no sound could be made. Only some inaudible choking noise or rapid breathes escaped from her lips.

She stared, widened eyes.

All of her focus wasn't Kurosaki-kun anymore, but Ulquiorra…

_Ulquiorra_ only when he dropped on the cold ground as his blood drained down from Kurosaki-kun's slash.

_Ulquiorra lost!_

"… He… won!" Muttering some broken words, Ishida-kun also bewildered with the scenery in front of his eyes.

This wasn't winning at all. This was bloody and heartless.

If it was Kurosaki-kun, he would never win that way. He would never want to win that way. That was not how Kurosaki-kun won.

The sharp pain in her heart which was still ache dully from the beginning now increased more tenfold.

As if she was the one who was lying down there in Ulquiorra's place agonizingly instead.

It was her fault that Ulquiorra killed Kurosaki-kun. And it was also her fault that Ulquiorra was going to be killed by Kurosaki-kun who was turned into hollow.

All of them were just because she was put her hope on Kurosaki-kun.

In the end, it was her who made both of them hurt each others. It was her who hurt both of them.

_He wasn't deserved it. Please don't hurt him anymore._

Unconsciously to Orihime, her lips part and some sound were made audible enough for Ishida-kun who was by her side to hear her whispering.

"No… Stop it… Please…"

When Orihime saw _Kurosaki-kun_ or rather the creature in Kurosaki-kun stepping on Ulquiorra's head and preparing to fire a point-blank cero at the fallen Espada, her face contorted in disbelief and horror.

"… I see. No mercy? How very hollow-like. I don't mind. I have lost to you. I no longer have any meaning. Do it. " Ulquiorra said dully. But Orihime could feel there was anguish in his words and tone. He said as if he had already gave up his life, gave up this world.

_Why did you say those things? Weren't you looking for the heart? Didn't you ask me about it?_

_I… I haven't really given out my answer back then._

Her body shifted up. She didn't know what to do at this moment now, but she wanted to move, wanted to do something to stop.

She didn't want to witness another death again.

However, Ishida-kun already forced her body back to the ground over protectively.

Orihime looked at Ishida-kun whose face matched with her own horrified one. While holding her, he shook his head as if he asked her not doing something to endanger herself more.

Quickly, she called forth her shield when Ishida-kun stepped in front of her, but she felt this shield just like a feeble leaf swaying weakly compared to what catastrophe happened in the center of the bright cyclone, dazzlingly but full of death and demise.

_Ulquiorra…_

Nightmare or reality, she didn't care anymore.

She wanted to see.

She couldn't avert her eyes from anything of them anymore.

Please let her see what happened.

She wanted to see Ulquiorra.

* * *

**JinxJen's note:**

There are matters that Orihime had realized in this chapter. Still there are some that she had not realized yet.

You can see how I revert back to the heart conversation in Orihime's POV because that chapter was the core of the battle and Orihime's feeling toward Ulquiorra.

I can say that Orihime had not yet realized the core of the matters because her heart was still full of confusion. But at least, her focus shifted toward Ulquiorra now.

What will happen to Ulquiorra? See you in next chapter.


	16. THE REALIZATION

Thanks for reading the story!

The title spoke for itself. Orihime finally realized what actually happened with Ichigo, what Ulquiorra's previous words meant and MOSTLY about herself.

Parallel between Ulquiorra and Ichigo to full most.

**Disclaimers:** I do not own Bleach and their characters (definitely); they are all masterpieces from Kubo-sensei~

* * *

**CHAPTER 15: THE REALIZATION**

Even when the smoke was finally clear, Orihime still concentrated hard to hold up her shield against the wind pressure. But it was shattered as soon as she lifted her head up to see what scenario would come to her.

Her body, her mind and her heart, all of them were crushed into pieces at the sight of Ulquiorra's half-body hanging in the creature's hand on the sky.

"Kurosaki" Ishida-kun mumbled in his disbelief and worried tone.

Orihime had wished to see Ulquiorra. Now she saw him, saw him torn in that form.

What should she do now? This was all her fault.

There was no way Ulquiorra could survive in that attack.

He's dead... dead... _DEAD_...

But why did she feel so much pain? There was no tear falling out like the time she witnessed Kurosaki's death and his corpse lying motionless on the ground. But the pain she felt after seeing Ulquiorra's body in half... Why does it hurt even more tenfold?

She dropped both her hands on the ground. Fingers clawed at the hard marble as deep and hard as they almost bleed, as if the pain from her fingers could cease the pain in her chest, but it could not.

She stared down at the ground, shaking her head. She didn't want to believe such reality.

That Kurosaki-kun had turned into a monster because of her.

That Ulquiorra was killed by the same monster because of her.

Occupied with her thought, Orihime didn't notice that Ishida-kun hadn't been by her side anymore.

He moved.

Only until she heard a hoarse yell from Ishida-kun, "STOP, KUROSAKI!"

Only until she heard Ishida-kun shouted out Kurosaki-kun's name, she lifted her head.

Immediately, she almost thought that everything was just a dream. She just had to wake up and everything would end. But what the monster did toward Ishida-kun told her that waking up would not enough to reject everything happened in that nightmare.

"ISHIDA-KUN!" Soaked her face in horror at the sight, Orihime shouted out.

The monster just stabbed Ishida-kun with Zangetsu.

How could he do it with Ishida-kun? What did Ishida-kun do?

Kurosaki-kun would never do that with Ishida-kun. Ishida-kun was his nakama. Kurosaki-kun would never do that to his nakama.

Who was that monster? He was not Kurosaki-kun anymore. Give back Kurosaki-kun.

Orihime shifted her body. She tried to stand up, tried to run toward Ishida-kun. In the next second, she heard some sounds from the monster and it froze her body immediately.

_What is that?_

The sound she heard from the monster was very distorted and inhuman as if it was putting every nonsense syllable together. It's not the usual Kurosaki-kun's voice.

But only when she made out the sentence from what the monster said, she finally realized what she had done.

"H-e..."

"H-e-l-p"

"I"

"w-i-l-l"

"h-e-l-p"

She had made a mistake. He was Kurosaki-kun. The monster she feared was Kurosaki-kun.

_It was all my fault. I called out for him... and... Kurosaki-kun... just to save me, he..._

It was her who turned him into that monster. It's not Kurosaki-kun's fault.

It was because she was useless. It was because she had put her hope in him. It was because she tried to depend on him to protect her, but not on herself.

_Why? I trained so hard because I didn't want to be a burden to him._

_I came here so I could protect him. Yet... why? _

_Why is it that in the end, I always end up relying on him?_

_"You don't know, do you? Let's me tell you. You are-"_

For an instant, Ulquiorra's words flashed out in her memory. And she realized that Ulquiorra had already known where her heart was since long ago.

He had already realized why she chose to rely on Kurosaki-kun instead of her own.

It's not because of them or their desires to fight each other.

It's because of herself and her selfish desire for Kurosaki-kun.

_I hoped that he would protect me with all his heart. _

_That's why I couldn't interfere the fight. That's why I couldn't help him with my power. _

_Because of my selfish desire, he was hurt. I was the one who hurt him and turned him into that thing._

When the monster started to charge cero in his horns toward Ishida-kun, Orihime yelled out with all her might, "Stop, Kurosaki-kun! Kurosaki-kun!"

If it was her call that turned him into this monster, then maybe… maybe probably if she called out his name again, he would get back his sense and turn back to normal.

_Please stop, Kurosaki-kun. Please turn back to normal. Please don't hurt anyone anymore. _

_Please... Please... someone... Please stop Kurosaki-kun. Please help him. _

_Please... somebody... save Ishida-kun from Kurosaki-kun._

But her calling seemed no use. The ball energy of cero between the horns kept getting bigger.

Orihime was so desperate but she didn't know what to do besides keeping yelling out his name on her lips.

In that instant, she saw a flash. Something looked like a flash of lighting, a golden one.

The next instant, she made out a black shadow figure hovering above and behind Kurosaki-kun.

Her eyes widened in shock.

If in the past, she didn't believe in miracle before, she still couldn't believe that she was witnessing it at this moment.

Right now, at the sight of the person that she would never think that _he_, of all of people she knew, was a miracle himself.

_Ulquiorra!_

Everything was happened so fast after the shock and bewilderment.

One horn from Kurosaki-kun was cut off quickly and the incomplete cero was exploded in front of Kurosaki-kun right after that.

Orihime saw the shadow falling back behind Kurosaki-kun before the bright explosion from the cero blinded her vision.

* * *

**JinxJen's note:**

I wanted to elaborate more, right when Ichigo rose up as Ichithing, Orihime's mind had been switched back and forth between reluctantly accepting and denying the fact that monster WAS Kurosaki-kun. (The denial was stronger though.) And she got confirmed what the monster was in this chapter.

Meanwhile, Ulquiorra still had lot of effect on Orihime in the way how she reacted toward his half body and how she remembered his words in regret and realized about herself.

This is the direct parallel to what happened toward Ichigo's death and how Orihime reacted to his death and the supposed-to-be-dead Ichigo rising according her shouting to help. Orihime witnessed Ulquiorra's death and reacted to his death and the supposed-to-be-dead Ulquiorra rising according to her shouting to _help_. But you can differentiate them.

See you in the next and last chapters!


	17. THE GUILT

We almost come to the end of this story.

Thanks for reading and pursuing to the end of the story!

This chapter is an aftermath of every nightmare and reality entwining to Orihime.

Action is over. Now we're moving on emotional stage.

**Disclaimers:** I do not own Bleach and their characters (definitely); they are all masterpieces from Kubo-sensei~

* * *

**CHAPTER 16: THE GUILT**

Orihime was not in the battle with anyone on the dome.

She was in the battle with herself.

Fighting against herself. Fighting against her desire.

Fighting against her own heart.

No matter how much she tried to calm her heart with her hands and her mind, it didn't stop racing.

Just one quick image of Ulquiorra jumping up through the chaos in that instant, her heart almost stopped. It skipped a beat and then went on its own marathon race alone.

Leaving her body and her mind here in astonishment.

* * *

Orihime crossed her arms up to her face as an act of self-defense against the wind pressure from the cero's explosion.

She was too close to the light as dazzling as it almost blinded her sight. The pair of those eyelids just rolled down to cover everything insides automatically.

When she felt the wind had stopped swirling violently, she slowly opened her eyes and finally saw the familiar figure standing in the middle of the smoke.

There was a cracking sound. The mask on that figure's face was broken into pieces, revealing the ever familiar face that she had come to know for almost half a year. The only one that she had come to feel dear and ever admitted her love for, besides her brother.

Just now, the scary creature from before had lost its mask, showing that person's face.

The face of _Kurosaki-kun_.

She could see his face and his eyes now. Though, she was unsure if he could see her. She was unsure whether it was okay to call his name again. So she mumbled each syllable of his name cautiously while eyes widen in shock.

"... Kuro... saki... kun...?"

He didn't respond her. Instead his whole body was just moving forward the ground.

Like an unconditional reflex, Orihime stood up and ran toward, finally realized what happened.

"Kurosaki-kun"

His body dropped with a heavy thud before Orihime could run to him closer.

She also dropped herself near him, but not dare to touch his body. And again, at the sight of Kurosaki-kun falling once more, Orihime couldn't help but resign back at everything. This time, his skin color was as white as a sheet, unlike Kurosaki-kun's normal skin color, just like the color of death.

She repeated his name like a broken record all over so that he would hear and get up and answer her as _Kurosaki-kun_, not as the scary creature with the mask. Filling herself up with sorrow and regret, her tears were formed automatically.

She couldn't do anything to help him.

Not at the first where she couldn't even make him feel better.

Not at the second where she saw him putting on the mask.

Not at the third where she was blind at the reality.

The fourth time, there was no hope left in her anymore.

She only knew to cry, over his body, over herself that made him in such state.

Even if Kurosaki-kun had turned into a monster without any consciousness or conscience, he was still Kurosaki-kun. Why couldn't she realize such simple thing?

Why was she afraid of him, the one she vowed that she would love for five lifetimes?

Why couldn't she accept his hollow as part as he was? Why?

Was she not in love with him anymore? How come such thing happened?

Where did her heart lie?

_My heart... It was lost with you, Kurosaki-kun. It was gone with you, Kurosaki-kun._

Orihime lifted her head up and saw another familiar shadow from afar walking away with one and less than a half legs in the middle of rubbles with such difficulty.

Another feeling filled up in her heart, flooding together with sorrow and regret.

_Guilt._

_Ulquiorra._

Orihime had made mistake.

She caused Kurosaki-kun dead and Ulquiorra wounded. And here she was, feeling nothing but helpless because she didn't do anything to help both of them.

While Ulquiorra could raise himself up from death, he was still the same Ulquiorra. But Kurosaki-kun couldn't do the same as Ulquiorra. The once time he did raise up from death was because of her and it was her punishment for calling him selfishly.

She had better concentrated on healing him rather than calling him for help.

Oh right, _healing_.

She could _heal_.

She had to heal Kurosaki-kun. She would try again to connect his life back.

This time she wouldn't fail anymore.

Orihime shifted her body. She was going stand up. She raised both her hands up in the middle of space.

She took a deep breath. But after exhaling, she was alarmed by a gust of a strange reiatsu surrounding Kurosaki-kun's body. It started from every lock of his long hair. It was exploded into pieces and each of those pieces turned in to reiatsu swirling above Kurosaki-kun's body like a tornado.

Before Orihime could comprehend what happened, the reiastu all of sudden poured down to his body rapidly. She was flabbergasted at such strange phenomenon.

However, Orihime wasn't the only one.

Both Ulquiorra and Ishida also witnessed that scene astoundingly.

* * *

**JinxJen's note:**

This chapter is a divide between Orihime's feeling of loss toward Ichigo and her feeling of guilt toward Ulquiorra.

Would you be able to guess where her heart had gone to? Will she ever find her heart back?

Tune in your channel and read the story to the end to find out.


	18. THE ASH

Thanks for reading and pursuing to the end of the story!

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust."

Here we go. Let's look into Orihime's POV for what had happened to Ulquiorra in this chapter.

**Disclaimers:** I do not own Bleach and their characters (definitely); they are all masterpieces from Kubo-sensei~

* * *

**CHAPTER 17: THE ASH**

By the time the inexplicable occurrence happened to Kurosaki-kun ended, the hole in his chest was gone.

Gone. _Magically._

His chest was healed mysteriously. His skin even reverted back to normal color. So did his hair length.

There was no trace of the scary creature that Kurosaki-kun had turned into. It's gone.

Orihime observed the transformation in shock. She couldn't believe in her eyes.

Kurosaki-kun was healed. Healed by his own hair. His own reiatsu. He...

_He could heal himself._

"... The hole... closed...?" Ishida-kun said in his shaking voice. His tone was as shock as his face.

"High speed... regeneration...!" Ulquiorra stated. The monotone in his voice was gone. His voice was almost the same state as his facial expression right now, full of surprise.

When Orihime overheard Ulquiorra saying Kurosaki-kun having the same ability as Ulquiorra, a little speck of hope returned to her heart.

Was that why Kurosaki-kun healed himself?

_Then he's still alive?_

Doubtfully, moving her hands closer, she was about to touch his body.

"...Ku..."

_I must check his body's temperature._

"Kurosaki-kun...?"

_It's okay, Orihime. He's Kurosaki-kun. He's not scary. I'm not scared. I'm not scared of him._

Orihime told herself, calmed herself down, and fought against shiver and goosebumps running through her body.

But his body suddenly rose up by his own, and like an unconditional reflex, Orihime retracted both of her hands immediately. She was taken aback at the sudden movement of his body.

Then, the awoken man spoke with his shaking voice, but Orihime knew that voice.

"...I... My chest... I... Wasn't there a hole in my chest..." His expression was just like waking up from a bad dream. Stunned and confused. He touched the place where his heart was with his hand.

Orihime called out his name once more, to confirm whether he was okay.

Whether he was _really_ Kurosaki-kun.

"Kurosaki-kun..."

The man responded to her voice and looked at her with his brown eyes and asked about her with his worried expression. Orihime wanted to cry for such relief washing over her body.

Because Kurosaki-kun was alive. Because Kurosaki-kun was alright. Because Kurosaki-kun returned to normal.

But she shouldn't.

She shouldn't make Kurosaki-kun more worried about her than he had already been. Trying hard enough, Orihime lifted up a slight smile to respond him and nodded.

She didn't aware that there were tears still presenting in the corner of her eyes, but they didn't flow out.

Then Kurosaki-kun hastily stood up and turned his head to another direction.

"... Ishida...!" Said with his shaking voice, Kurosaki-kun turned his body.

Looking at the back of Kurosaki-kun, Orihime slowly stood up.

The sorrow was gone but the regret remained. Because she knew that Kurosaki-kun would feel hurt if he realized that he was the one who hurt Ishida, even if he did that unconsciously.

Also... there was another one who also got hurt because of Kurosaki-kun.

Glancing at her side, Ulquiorra came in the picture, standing from afar forlornly, having no comrade to ask about him, no one to care about the state of his body, but _Orihime_.

At that moment, she felt great sympathy for Ulquiorra.

Because she was also standing here _alone_.

She wasn't in Kurosaki-kun's attention anymore.

_We're the same._

Right at that moment, his eyes met hers. Before she had chance to read anything lurking in his strange gaze, they quickly shifted back to Kurosaki-kun.

Orihime was confused over Ulquiorra's action.

_He turned his eyes away from me._

Orihime felt there was an ache in her chest.

Had she looked horrible enough so that Ulquiorra couldn't bear to look into her eyes anymore?

Yeah, the one who couldn't be able to help the one she love most may be even lower than trash which Ulquiorra never liked at the beginning.

But then again, Ulquiorra never liked her at the beginning.

It's ached again. Her heart was beating unevenly.

She didn't understand what her heart wanted right now. What with these constant beat in her heart?

"Persistent, aren't you?"

Ulquiorra's voice was just like the sound of a stone thrown on a surface of a calm lake, jumping from point to point and vibrating every living being existing in that lake.

Kurosaki-kun was alerted by Ulquiorra's voice and shifted his attention toward Ulquiorra.

"... Ulquiorra...!"

In the next instant, Ulquiorra disappeared from his spot and reappeared not far away from Orihime.

He _sonido_ himself in front of Ishida-kun, pulling out Zangetsu which was stuck into Ishida-kun's gut without hesitation. Ulquiorra threw the sword to the ground, near Kurosaki-kun.

"Take it. We're putting an end to this." Ulquiorra said and Orihime was startled at his statement.

Now, Orihime was close in distance to Ulquiorra enough to hear his voice and his heavy breathing. She realized that he was in pain.

_What are you talking about? You're hurt yourself enough. You even lost half of your body. _

_Why do you want to fight more? What do you mean "end"?_

_Ulquiorra._

Kurosaki-kun asked with a halt, full of uncertainty for what happened between him and Ishida, between him and Ulquiorra. But Ulquiorra averted his confirmation.

"If it was then cut off my limbs as well."

The suggestion from Kurosaki-kun made Orihime voice out his name with shock.

_Not only Ulquiorra, but also Kurosaki-kun? _

_Why are they like this? Always resolve things like that? By hurting themselves?_

Orihime tried to look at Kurosaki-kun's face and she saw in his eyes that he was serious. He did feel hurt what his hollow did to both Ishida-kun and Ulquiorra. He wanted atonement.

_Guilt._

The feeling that wavered in her heart every time she looked at Ulquiorra now also presented in Kurosaki-kun's heart.

Because no matter what the reality couldn't reject back to where it had been before.

Those things Ulquiorra had done to Kurosaki-kun and Ishida-kun. Those things Kurosaki-kun's hollow had done to Ulquiorra and Ishida-kun.

All of them were because of her. In any forms, she was the cause _- the trigger -_ either directly or indirectly.

Orihime looked at Ulquiorra and she saw his widen eyes at Kurosaki-kun's statement as in shock for a quite until they returned as sharp and cold like before.

Ishida-kun was trying to stop Kurosaki-kun, but Orihime knew that it was no use once Kurosaki-kun made up his resolve on such matter.

_Kurosaki-kun was still so strong. Compare to that, I..._

Orihime couldn't protect Kurosaki-kun anymore. She was too weak for that.

She couldn't even decide anything on her own.

_What should I do? I don't know anymore._

_I don't know what my heart wants to do if it's no more for protecting Kurosaki-kun. I'm really lost._

If Orihime couldn't even tell herself, how could she expect anyone would know about herself?

If she couldn't help herself, how could she be useful for anyone else?

_What I want is..._

"... Fine. If that's what you want, then so be it." Ulquiorra's voice cut off her thought.

For a second, Orihime thought that he was talking about her, but it wasn't. It looked like that Ulquiorra finally agreed to act on what Kurosaki-kun suggested. But Orihime didn't want to see him doing that.

She wanted him to stop.

That's it.

What she wanted was to stop Ulquiorra. Stop him doing things like hurting her nakama.

Rather than for protecting Kurosaki-kun, Orihime just wanted to stop Ulquiorra hurting himself instead.

Her lips parted slightly, "Ul..."

Ulquiorra's wing exploded on the tip of her tongue. Orihime looked it disintegrated into ash with horror.

_How could it happen? Wasn't Ulquiorra able to regenerate himself?_

"... Tch... So this is it?" Said nonchalantly, Ulquiorra looked back at his own wing.

_What just happen to you? Why do you turn to ash like that?_

"Kill me." Said Ulquiorra, in that same nonchalant tone.

_No... You don't mean..._

The feeling of sorrow returned to her heart along with another feeling that she couldn't quite to put a name. She didn't know what it was.

All she knew was that she couldn't hear the sound of her heart beating anymore as if there was something blocking out noises in her ears.

She could only feel the throbbing pain from its beating. It was very _uncomfortable_. Like it was going to tell her something that she wasn't aware of, _desperately._

Orihime didn't understand this pain. But she knew she felt like that because Ulquiorra looked like he was going to die. For some reasons, she... she didn't want to see him dying.

How could she stop him dying, stop his body from turning to ash? Orihime didn't know.

Then again, she would never find any answer for questions she created by herself. Ulquiorra would more likely know the answer of his body than her.

"You expect me to win like this?" Kurosaki-kun's hoarse and desperate shout snapped her back.

When she looked at Ulquiorra again, she realized that his green sclera and yellow irises slowly had turned back to the normal color of white sclera and green orbs she had come to accustom with.

Strangely enough, without his helmet mask now, Ulquiorra looked very much like human.

A _man_ with horn and bat wing nonetheless.

Maybe what Kurosaki-kun said about Ulquiorra was true. Ulquiorra had become human.

To Orihime, Ulquiorra never looked more human than he ever looked at this time.

Would he still scold her if she told him that she thought about him that way?

"Tch... Right to end... You never do what I want to you to do..." Ulquiorra said in a soft voice with disappointment and sullenness.

Unlike the time when he told the hollowfied Kurosaki-kun finish him with its cero, this was the first time Orihime ever heard such sadness in his tone.

She wanted to come closer to Ulquiorra. But was it okay to do that?

Just a moment ago, he didn't look at her and totally avoided her eyes when she looked at him. Maybe Ulquiorra really never interested in such a useless person like her.

It was always her who made him act all angry, confuse and strange.

But it was always him who made her feel like an emotional roller coaster that she didn't want to hop on, but couldn't help but riding on one.

Such a ride of awful feelings that she had never experienced all-in-one-pack in 15 years of her life.

* * *

**JinxJen's note:**

I really love to describe how Orihime felt in this chapter, different toward Ichigo, yet similar toward Ulquiorra. Because Orihime was a girl who always compared her self's worth with others'.

Ulquiorra behaved _strange_ toward Orihime, and Orihime felt "something" in her heart.

If Ulquiorra had become more "human", what had Orihime become throughout this battle?

Next chapter is the last. Please read it till the end.


	19. THE HEART

Thanks for reading the story!

I'm happy that you could read the story until the end.

Enjoy yourself to the best with UlquiHime legendary tragedy and elegy.

**Disclaimers:** I do not own Bleach and their characters (definitely); they are all masterpieces from Kubo-sensei~

* * *

**CHAPTER 18: THE HEART**

Clutching her hand on the chest to settle the strangely calm rhythm of her heart, Orihime watched the scenery of Ulquiorra standing alone in the eternal night sky with his wing dissolving to ash.

He was only within two feet from her. Yet it looked like his soul was drifting farther and farther away.

As if he was departing to his own world._ Alone._

The thought of Ulquiorra was going to die stung an ache in Orihime's heart.

But the thought of him was going to die _alone_ pained hers drastically.

She took the first step, but stopped at the second, only to find Ulquiorra roll his eyes to glance at her at the same time.

And then Orihime felt like that she had ventured into his tranquil world by herself _alone_.

Her eyes met with his. Just like magnets, she couldn't break out from his gaze.

The presence of Kurosaki-kun and Ishida-kun was nowhere for Orihime to concern at that time.

Only Ulquiorra.

Orihime felt so complex at this moment. She wanted to say something, but couldn't bring out the words.

What would she say to him when she saw him dying like that? She couldn't even be able to say any comfort words to his state because she knew they were never her true feeling for him.

What was her feeling for him right now? Angry? Hate? Pity?

No. None of them could fit to describe what she felt at this moment.

For everything he had done to her and her friends, she wasn't angry with him. Neither did she hate him. The pain in her heart right now wasn't even because she felt pity for him.

This overwhelming sadness was...

"... In the end," Ulquiorra finally broke the silence, but not their gaze, "I think I actually had some interest in you people."

It's hurt for her to hear his voice whose tone was full of sadness. The words were so soft and so serene.

Ulquiorra had never lied to her before, so what he told her now was also the truth. In fact, he didn't hate her or her friends, or rather to the degree of "interest". But how come, instead of relieving to hear what he truly felt about her, all she felt right now at his words was sorrow and something else akin to _endless_ sympathy?

_Why are you telling me these, Ulquiorra?_

Orihime bit her lower lip slightly.

_Don't say thing like that because I..._

Then it took Orihime a moment of surprise slightly showing on her facial expression.

She dropped down the hand which still held on her chest when she saw Ulquiorra's hand lifted up and his blackened fingers stretched toward her.

It took her the next second to realize his gesture that he was reaching his hand out, _toward her._

"... Are you afraid of me, woman?" Ulquiorra asked.

She was surprise at his most tender tone that she had ever heard from him. That almost covered her surprise at his question toward her. The _déjà vu_ question.

Her memory flashed to what happen between them back then in the throne room at the fifth tower.

For him to ask the similar question to her twice with curiosity and bluntness.

For her to face him off with bravery and honesty.

That time was the only time she could answer his question without lying to herself.

_So this time, she..._

"I'm not afraid." Her lips parted and truth came out.

_She would not lie to him or herself._

She would never afraid of Ulquiorra, even when he was a hollow, even when he has his deadly despair release form, even when he did nothing but hurt her and her friends.

Ulquiorra was the only one Orihime would never think and never want to think him as a frightening being.

_Because to her, Ulquiorra was..._

She felt very dizzy in her head and her vision was gone from clear to blurry and blurrier every second.

"I'm not afraid" _of you_. Orihime repeated. Her throat was choked at the unspoken words.

Something in her was about to come out. Rapid and violent. She didn't know what it was.

But it was so painful.

The hand that lay on her heart previously was not here to calm it anymore. By the time she realized, it had moved forward in the same motion with Ulquiorra's hand.

Just one step forward and they would touch.

_What she wanted to do was..._

"I see." Ulquiorra whispered and Orihime knew that was his last word.

Orihime just ran to his side as quickly as she could.

There's no thinking for the consequence of her action.

She just wanted to move forward to touch his hand.

No, actually, she wanted to grab everything of him back, back to her side.

_This was not fair, Ulquiorra._

Tears were shed on her cheeks and were quickly wiped away by the wind.

_Don't disappear, Ulquiorra._

Sadness embraced as she ran forward.

_I don't want you disappear, Ulquiorra._

She grabbed everything but his hand.

_My heart doesn't want you disappear, Ulquiorra._

She reached nothing but him.

Why?

She was the only one moved. He, on the other hand, didn't.

But why was he kept being farther and farther away?

_Please. Please. Please. Please._

Prayers flooded in her mind. She had never prayed for God in complete silence as much as she did now.

While the wind was still on the process of washing her tears, Orihime caught a glimpse of Ulquiorra's expression between her fingertips.

She immediately deciphered what harbored his eyes, _about half of it_.

_Sorrow. __Regret. __Sympathy._

Because Orihime had gone through the same thing when Ulquiorra was the cause.

_Longing. Understanding. Accepting._

Never ever Orihime had empathized Ulquiorra as much as this moment.

_Desire. Despair. Death._

Orihime felt like that she had experienced everything in Ulquiorra's hollow life.

It was just like opening the Pandora's box.

Would she ever be able to find the hope left inside?

Orihime didn't think so.

Ulquiorra had left something completely different from hope behind.

For her.

_We had nothing in common._

_We didn't have the same form._

_We didn't share the same view._

_We didn't walk on the same path._

_But right now, the only thing we had in common was..._

The heart.

_The heart we shared was the same form._

_The heart we saw was the same thing._

_The heart we seek was on the same path._

It was right here.

In this hand.

_Between you and I._

_An everlasting connection._

_

* * *

_

_If the things you did really were a sin, then I want to bear that sin with you._

_I don't mind if I have to be punished someday because of that._

_I just want you to live, live with me._

_I have not yet told you what I want to say._

_Ulquiorra, to me you are..._

* * *

FIN

* * *

**JinxJen's note:**

This is the last chapter.

I don't want to end it, but I hope this story will continue forever in your heart.

I hope Orihime would find the way out of her heart for Ulquiorra in the manga like what I had hope in my stories. I also hope for Ulquiorra to return back to Orihime.

As I said at the beginning, this story is about Orihime's POV of the Lust Arc, so I don't intent to put on any closure ending for her. It's quite an open ending. Because the manga had not yet given us any new material on UlquiHime at all, I leave it to your imagination.

I also have lots of theories and bunny plots for Ulquiorra return, so I don't quite like to put them in this story. Either I continue another sequel story or write one short drabble for him coming back in Orihime's arm though.

I'll be happy if you give me some feedback for what you felt about the story. So that I would improve myself to write more stories about the pairing I love.


End file.
